The Landscaper's Wife
I am the Vice-Chairman of the Montgomery County Commission. The Commission has oversight of a $100,000,000 budget. There are 250,000 people in Montgomery County, and they rely on us for leadership and problem solving. Last year I was invited to the White House to discuss issues that impact counties. If there is a VIP in town, I’m usually invited to dinner. I was invited by Hyundai Motor Manufacturing to attend the NYC auto show. As a commissioner I make decisions alongside the sheriff, district attorney, and probate judge. It’s a big deal job (at least that’s what I’m trying to convey) and I am honored to serve the people of my county in this capacity.
As a commissioner, I was invited to attend the grand opening of the new sculpture garden at the Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts. This world-class sculpture garden had been all the talk in the social circles around town, so I was excited to see it for myself. I immediately emailed my RSVP for the event, an enthusiastic, “I will attend!”
Two days before the grand opening, I received a call from the event organizer asking me if I planned to attend. I explained to them I emailed my positive response and apologized if it was not received. I could hear some rustling over the phone line — he was apparently looking over the list of expected guests — when he suddenly said, “Oh, I see what happened. You aren’t on the guest list as County Commissioner. You are listed as the landscaper’s wife.”
The landscaper’s wife, indeed! You see, my husband, Jason, has a degree in horticulture from Auburn University, and his company, Pate Landscape, did all of the irrigation and landscape for the new garden. Since he had such a critical role in the project, he was invited to the grand opening event and was placed on the guest list along with his wife, Ronda.
Well, I’m a commissioner, remember? I’m a big deal! How dare you reduce me to “the landscaper’s wife.” Right? Wrong. When the event organizer referred to me as the landscaper’s wife, I smiled. Laughed even. In fact, I loved it.
The truth is, being the landscaper’s wife is my favorite and most important role. Regardless of what I have going on professionally, being the best wife and mother I can be is what matters most. It didn’t hurt my ego one bit to be called my husband’s wife. Because, you must understand, I am not defined by my professional title or what I do. I am defined by who I am.
It is ok to be identified by titles, but we cannot be defined by them.
I do not let the world dictate what makes me important. I decide that. You should decide that for yourself.
We are significant because of who we are, not what we do. I am significant because I am. Period. Nothing more needs to be added.
My children will often say to me, “Momma, I love you because you cook supper for us.” “Momma, I love you for buying me a new game.” “Momma, I love you because you take us places and teach us things.” And I always reply, “Love me for who I am, not for what I do. You should definitely appreciate me for what I do, but love me for who I am.”
Love me just because.
We need to realize we have value simply because we exist.
Once we accept that our very existence makes us significant, then we can begin to fulfill our purpose with passion. We each have a critical purpose. No matter how mundane you believe your life to be. No matter how ordinary you feel. You have a specific purpose while on Earth that needs be fulfilled in order for the eternal chain of events to fall into place.
Remember in church when the pastor would read verse after verse about the lineage of a Biblical character? Remember how they would sometimes stumble over names like Mephibosheth and Nebuchadnezzar and Abimelech and your mind would wander hoping they would move on from this long list of odd names of who begat whom? Don’t you imagine Ruth of Old Testament fame felt her life was remarkably ordinary, tragic even? What possible purpose did she serve in the grand scheme of things? Her husband was dead; she had no children; and she had to care for her aging mother-in-law. Blah.
But her obedience! Her loyalty! Her dedication! Eventually, her begats led directly to Jesus Christ himself! Not such an ordinary life when you consider it that way. Ruth lived and died and never fully understood her purpose. But she lived it; she lived her purpose! She knew her role was to be obedient, and because of her obedience, she became a key figure in world history.
What is your purpose?
Each of us has significance. A significant reason for being alive. We need to identify and own our significance. I don’t want to live someone else’s life. I want to live my life, run my race. My purpose is to glorify God and help people. I do this by seeking truth and sharing it with others and in turn encourage them to seek truth. I’m passionate about helping people overcome fear. I do this by giving them information. By giving them truth. Ignorance leads to fear, but truth sets us free. So, if I can speak truth to someone, the fear dissipates and the heart and mind become free to move forward in powerful ways.
“When you consider there are no two people in the world that have identical fingerprints, and that your DNA and genetic makeup are composed of a symphony of cells, neurons, and chromosomes that are specifically designed to distinguish you from every other person in the world, it seems unreasonable to ever compare yourself to another. Sure, we admire qualities and characteristics in others, but you are an original creation, made for a unique purpose, and for that reason, your greatest admiration should begin within.” ”
I am significant not because I am a county commissioner. My significance doesn’t come from the work I’ve done, places I’ve lived, or awards I’ve won. I am significant simply because I am. You are significant because you are you, and you are the only person at the center of your universe. You impact the people in your daily life like no one else can. In the board room. In carpool line. At the grocery. At the water cooler. Around the dinner table. You have a powerful purpose.
Stop trying to be someone else. Stop being defined by your job or your family.
Get to know who you are. Dig deep. Try what you’ve always wanted to try. Get uncomfortable. Nothing new ever happens inside of our comfort zone. Explore your passion. Hone your natural skills and abilities. Because without you fulfilling your purpose, something in this world gets left undone.